The Annoyance Of Registrars And Priests Inflicting Tough Rules On The Wedding Ceremony
Most couples presume that they can have what they want on their wedding day. You can not blame them for that, because it is after all their wedding day and it is usual, that if you are paying for something, that you should get what you want.
Unfortunately this is often not the case. Some ceremony leaders decide what is best for the ceremony and will simply not budge. Most of the time this is a good thing, they are after all very experienced at this and as such have a lot to offer in terms of their expertise.
As wedding videographers however, we are sometimes presented with rules which really hinder our ability to do the best job we can for the bride and groom. These rules can range from not being allowed in the church at all, to being made to position our cameras in a place where we do not get a great view of the bride and groom.
Often the ceremony leader will not tell the bride and groom before the wedding, and as such, we as wedding videographers are suddenly presented with a difficult situation once we arrive at the church to video the proceedings.
The reasons for these strict rules vary massively. Some times it is because of an old fashioned priest that thinks having videographers and photographers in a church is in some way disrespectful and other some times it is because the ceremony leader has had a bad experience with photographers and videographers that really have caused problems to the ceremony.
If I arrive at the church and find that I am being obstructed by a vicar, I always try to reason with the vicar. Often if you give them your word that you will only do certain things and will only stand in particular positions, they will give in and let you video in the church.
Unfortunately however, they some times do not and are adamant that they will not let you video the ceremony. When this happens you simply have to accept that you can not do anything about it, but at least you know you have been very professional, by trying your best for the bride and groom and have not caused any upset at the same time. They are various tips which I find useful in term of getting the ceremony leader on your side. These are;
1, Always make a point of meeting and greeting the ceremony leader in a friendly and respectful way. By making a point of introducing your self to them and shaking their hand, you are showing them that you are a polite and friendly person, that has respect for what they contribute to the wedding day. First impressions are hugely important and can set the tone for a relationship.
2, Ask them what the rules are. By asking what the rules are, you are showing that you care about the priest's rules and so giving the impression that you respect him and his rules. By doing this, when you ask to bend the rules and assure him that you will only do certain things during the ceremony, he is much more likely to believe you, because you have given him the impression, that you respect him and his rules.
3, Mention that it is what the bride and groom want. By saying that it is what the bride and groom want. You are making it clear that it is not for selfish reasons that you want to do certain things, it is for the bride and groom. You are making it clear that you care about the bride and groom's contentment. This makes it a moral dilemma for the priest, because if you he does not give in, then he deliberately going against what the bride and groom want on their wedding day, knowing that this could upset them on the greatest day of their lives.
4, Negotiate and compromise. If the ceremony leader says that you can not do the tings that you would like, then ask for smaller things. Show him that you are perfectly reasonable and that puts him in a position, where he has to be essentially un reasonable. If someone compromises with you and you do not meet them half way, then they are essentially being unreasonable.
I have found using the tips above to be very helpful in the past and as I mentioned above, if after all that, the ceremony leader does not budge at all, then at least you can hold your head up and say that you have tried your very best for the bride and groom.
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